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Elliocentric Model

February 26, 2012

I generally dread accepting invitations into the homes of others because chances are their culinary offerings aren’t going to be up to snuff. Yesterday, however, I was pleasantly surprised when I opened the freezer in an apartment in which I am welcome.

I’m sure there are some of my  alleged peers (professional chefs) who are sneering at the thought of eating an Ellio’s pizza but any chef worth his weight in spatulas views an Ellio’s pizza as a clean slate, an empty canvas waiting for you to flex your culinary muscles and turn it into a beautiful piece of edible art.

I am an Ellio’s artist and this will be my painter’s palette.

The first step is to stick your pizza in the toaster oven for 15 minutes at 425 degrees Fahrenheit. What we have here is a decent looking pizza that will taste good. But we’re going to make it taste great with some intermediate pouring and disbursing skills.

Sprinkle the crushed red pepper on first. If you stopped here you’d have a mighty delicious pizza but if you let your mouth water and your belly rumble just a few seconds longer, your taste buds will thank you for your patience.

When I was seventeen I grew curious about marijuana, something I had never taken interest in before, because of its popularity with my classmates. I approached one of the students who flaunted his weedship proudly and asked about purchasing some. For $50 I was sold a tiny bag of what I later found out was oregano dipped in ammonia. Despite this unfortunate experience I have no ill feelings towards oregano, ammonia or that classmate of mine who I’ve been assured was dealing with demons of his own that caused him to do such things, and I fully appreciate the versatility of oregano in the kitchen.

As such, you’re going to want to sprinkle oregano over your Ellio’s pizza freely. This is a really great spice that shines in this dish.

Finally, we’re going to give it a nice wallop of Parmesan cheese to round it out. Check out what the original pizza looked like at the top of this post and I bet you won’t even be able to tell that it’s the same slice!

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From → Pizza, Technique

One Comment
  1. NachoMaMa permalink

    how do you make sure the rations are all even? for my kids

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