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Oventually, Your Kitchen Will Harm You

February 24, 2012

I couldn’t post yesterday because I was recovering from an injury guys. It involved my kitchen, more specifically my electric oven, and I’m going to recreate the accident through images and words so that hopefully I can prevent anyone else from making the mistake I made.

Attempting to use my oven to broil bread, I neglected to keep the palm of my hand low enough. As a result, when I pushed forward, I received a nasty burn. The moral of this somber tale is to never use the top rack of your oven. Please learn from my expertise and mistakes and only use the lower rack, or lower two racks if you’re fortunate enough to have such a luxurious oven that has three racks.

This mark will remind me for some time to come that I used kitchen equipment improperly.


From → Regret, Technique

  1. Liz permalink

    And you’re not advising the use of kitchen mitts because…..

    • concerned netizen permalink

      um yeah you could buy kitchen mitts. you could just buy every single thing that could possibly make your life a little better/easier. this (rearranging the oven) is a valid anticapitalist/hypertransgressive approach that questions preexisting conditions (ie oven superstructure) rather than demanding the accumulation of heat-resistant hand-molded tchotchkes. question your assumptions before posting, -please-.

  2. Signed, a loyal fan permalink

    Don’t pick at it

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