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Sporeatic Life Cycles

February 20, 2012

Happy Presidents Day guys. Just like some of our country’s great leaders from the past I’d like to offer you guidance and direction to make your lives better. There’s an ugly side to dining and it’s something we don’t talk about often in public for fear of being ostracized but it’s a natural part of our lives and it’s important to discuss.

We secrete waste at least once a day and commonly as often as three times a day. It’s a natural, relieving part of our lives but it’s important to understand how our waste can affect us even after we’ve flushed the toilet. Poop spores are invisible to the naked human eye and can attach themselves to any object. Although they don’t have long lives, you want to be careful about what you put in their vicinity. The easiest way to fight poop spores is to keep your toilet lid closed at all time but even this isn’t good enough for some of the more vulnerable toiletries.

Here I keep my toothbrush on my windowsill by my kitchen table. It’s a fantastic way to keep my toothbrush poop spore free and clean and it also serves a secondary purpose. As I eat my meals i have no choice but to stare at my toothbrush. A constant reminder that I need to brush my teeth when I’m done with my meal. Pictured above is a mug of coffee. Although I enjoy drinking my coffee and the stimulating effects of caffeine, it will leave my breath stinking of rot and I will undoubtedly be in need of using the toilet. I can kill two birds with one stone by leaving my toothbrush on the windowsill here. I know to brush my teeth as soon as I done and afterwards, I can poop with the assurance of knowing that my toothbrush is far away and untainted by my waste.

  1. DWDdad permalink

    Also, the toothbrush in thud cup makes a lovely adornment, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the sun’s rays killed off some pesky bugs!

  2. kelly permalink

    it is surprising how many humans do not realize that when you flush the toilet, an atomic cloud of fecal particles shoot into the air and contaminate surrounding spaces. this is why i keep the lid down and my toothbrush in a cabinet. thank you for spreading such important bathroom wisdom!

  3. GoPats89 permalink

    Oh nice try putting two toothbrushes in the cup like you really have a girlfriend. Yah right.

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