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Introduction/An Eggceptional Sandwich

January 31, 2012

I spend a lot of time reading food blogs and it has become apparent to me that there is a lot of misinformation regarding cooking on the Web. After years of training, formal and informal alike, I have developed a unique set of culinary skills that I wish to share with the world. So I think it’s appropriate to begin with one of my favorite dishes that I find myself preparing just about every day.

We’ll call it Eggs and Jelly Over Bread.

Jelly spread over broiled bread

I start by broiling two slices of bread. I then lay the broiled bread on a plate and spread jelly over both slices with a knife (not pictured).

Oiling up the skillet

Guys, listen up. This is an advanced step and if you don’t have an appropriate amount of experience I recommend you ask a skilled chef to take over. I turn on my electric stove. I prefer electric stoves to gas stoves because I’m a dumbshit. I then pour some canola oil into my skillet.

A beautiful crack

It’s time to crack the eggs into the skillet. This is what it should look like. My yolks haven’t split and the whites have kept some good form. This is quite a beautiful crack.

An advanced flipping technique

Ok guys now please pay attention. If you didn’t feel comfortable pouring in the canola oil and had your friend take over, it’s time to ask your friend to call someone they know who’s a better chef than they are because this is an EXTREMELY advanced technique. Many people, when they flip their eggs, keep it contained in their pan. This way of thinking is obsolete and foolish as it leads to boring, uninspired eggs.

Isolate the yolk from the egg white and flip it over the side of your skillet, onto the stove. The bacteria and salts will mesh with the yolk to produce an absolutely outrageous flavor. I must confess that I only succeeded in performing this technique properly on one of my eggs today. The other completed a full tumble back into the pan and remained sunny side up.

Ready to eat

If you followed these clear, organized directions correctly you should be looking at a plate of fantastic Eggs and Jelly Over Bread. I hope you enjoy yours as much as I enjoyed mine.

Please check this blog regularly for more recipes as well as advice regarding kitchen and life management.

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4 Comments
  1. shalom permalink

    paul i hope you are using eggs from a local farmer and not from a chicken concentration camp run by the usda. even if you buy free range that isnt good enough because the chuckens ould be given as little as two square feet to roam in hardly free range. consider joining a csa or call a nearby farmwer youll thank yourself and gaia witl thank yo 2.

    • Dear Dave,

      Thank you for your contribution. I am pleased to report that I do in fact buy my eggs locally at the closest Shaw’s so I believe I am living in conjunction with your moral code.

      Regards,
      Dining With Dignity

  2. Anonymous permalink

    shalom,

    my dear brother how wrong you are. You priorities are all wrong. The lord Jesus Christ placed this chickens in our mortal realm in order for us to enjoy them. They dont have feelings at all read a sciience journal.

  3. Clark permalink

    DWD:

    How do you feel about cutting the bread at an angle forning two triangles versus cross grain (pun intended). Also, if you feed this kind of shit to my daughter I will probably come rescue her. This is not a balanced meal; where is the carbonate cola or a powdered donut for color?

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